How You Can Win by Being Kind to Yourself

The Urban Monk

But the fact is, whether you believe it’s telling the truth about you or not, it can only hurt you.

It limits your thinking to the frame you’ve built for yourself, and won’t permit the acceptance of new information that doesn’t match that narrative.

It promotes perfectionism, which everyone knows is an impossible standard doomed for disappointment and failure. The only good thing about perfectionism is that it indicates a personal investment in the quality of your contributions.

And it ultimately leads to depressive feelings. You hear your own thoughts more often than you hear anything else — what could negative self-talk do but condition you to believe you’re [insert insulting sentiment here]?

Stronger Overall Performance

In most scenarios, the chance you have of succeeding is about the same as the chance you have of falling short, and telling yourself you won’t make it is a defense mechanism meant to soften the blow of that possible failure.

Rewiring Your Brain

Stress Management



NY Times Best Selling Author, filmmaker, and founder of

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